Well…I Said What I Said.
And A White Woman Proved Me Right
When I wrote “The Reason Black Women and White Women Can’t Get Along…Is Because White Women Won’t Shut The Fuck Up,” I knew that there was going to be fallout. I didn’t expect the positive reactions that I got.
I didn’t expect the response to be overwhelmingly positive, especially from white women. And yet it was.
People weren’t surprised at my truth, they were more surprised I think that I said it. That anyone said it.
What I said was “White women don’t know how to shut the fuck up,” what I meant was “White women are not taught to make friends with Black girls — they are not taught to make space for us.”
It’s fucking exhausting, it’s soul-crushing, and it’s destructive in ways I don’t fully have words for, but when we try to share that trauma what we’re doing is saying “Can you please carry some of this so I don’t have to carry it alone?” — Devon J Hall, “The Reason.”
I also didn’t know at the writing of that article, just how many white women — in particular, white women — who would say to me “Devon…I want to help you carry some of this.” It was a surprise, but with their supportive comments and kind words that’s exactly what they did.
And then it happened.
Someone in my own inner social media circle, someone I deeply respected, someone I deeply loved and looked up to, chose deliberately, to support Israel, with her full chest.
Yes, she’s a white woman. For what it might matter and for transparency, she’s also a white trans woman, which makes it all the more frustrating, because trans women know the struggle.
But all women, regardless of their biological status, are susceptible to propaganda and lies.
It’s never easy to lose a friend. But when you lose a friend to politics, to issues that affect so many different folks from the LGBTQ2S+NB community as well as the disability and colored communities, it’s even more mind-blowing.
Largely because you can’t believe what you’re witnessing.
Is this the same person who came out to my book launch in minus-4-degree weather? Is this the same woman who ran for office knowing she didn’t have much of a chance because she wanted to try and make a difference?
Is this the woman who said she wanted to help the community rise? Because yes, this is the same woman, my heart hurts. My soul hurts. My anger is palatable, and I don’t know what the fuck to do with it.
I tried to convince her that not only was she on the wrong side of history, but also all of her close social media friends, I wanted to show her that she doesn’t have to support Israel to support Jewish people.
But she accused me of bullying.
Bullying.
The white woman’s white horse. Angry tears. Sad tears. Any kind of tears really, so long as the tears distract from the issue. We’ve seen it a thousand times, a million times on social media.
We’ve seen it in malls, grocery stores, and even parking lots. Bird-watching parks and even Sephora.
We’ve seen the Summer of Karen, and the hundreds of hours of videos showing us how many times white women — IN PARTICULAR — will use their tears to get away with their bad behavior.
But to see it happen from one of your friends? To be slapped with a “you’re bullying me,” right after someone you love has accused an entire nation of being the bad guy, without proof, while providing only access to documented lies, is fucking shocking.
It stops you at your core, and makes you question all your relationships. How many others are hiding under the guise of being your friend? How many others are telling the world that Israel is right, while they are lying to your face?
How many others are there out there?
The truth is that whether you call them nazis, white supremacists, Indian supremacists, or Zionists, they are everywhere. People who think the world would be better off if some of us didn’t exist, are everywhere, and they are dangerous. They are willing to kill, rape, maim, and do the absolute most evil things to another human, just to say “God wants it that way.”
Lots of people think I should just bury my head in the work and keep carrying on after what happened between me and this friend, but this is me keeping going.
This is me moving forward. This is me telling the world that I will not be friends with Israeli supporters. Ever.
I can’t. It’s impossible. If you ever supported the idea of Israel, if you ever thought it was a great idea for a bunch of random Jewish people to move to the Middle East, where they could be horrendous and evil to the most vulnerable population among us, then fuck you.
If you continue to buy Apple products, if you continue to support industries that are destroying this planet, if you continue to consume the way that you have been consuming, you are a part of the fucking problem and I think I know why you don’t want to see that.
Comfort has made us all complicit and lazy.
Comfort has made us ugly.
Because we want to be comfortable, we’re mostly okay with what’s happening in Sudan, Congo, and the DRC, because we don’t know about it. Because we don’t know about it, we don’t bother to go looking for it because no moron goes looking for trouble right?
I mean if you *knew* what was happening in those places, you might have to do something about it. And that’s a terrifying way to say “I don’t want to be uncomfortable.”
Yes I am tired, but I am also galvanized. I am also interested in what it is that makes this woman think she can get away with supporting the death of over 200,000 people at last count.
When it comes to what is happening in Palestine, it’s not just the genocide. It’s the way the genocide is being produced. Through illness, mass murder, rape, and torture, the people of Palestine are being abused in the worst possible ways and the world is ignoring it.
But you go ahead and remain comfortable in the idea that because we disagree with you, we are bullying you, as we provide proof of our claims while you only provide lies.
In the end, when it’s time to face whatever universal force it is that put us here, I am confident, that whether I go to Heaven, Hell or whatever the fuck comes next, I will at least, in this life, have made the effort to say that murdering anyone in the name of anything, is wrong.
I can’t help my friend on her journey any longer and that makes me sad. But I no longer have a white supremacist nazi and zionist supporter in my life, so in the end, I am cut loose and free from a woman who would rather see children, men, and women murdered, than their precious pride interrupted.
Yeah, I said that. Pride matters and Pride is important, but no event on this planet is more important than standing up for the innocent victims of colonization.
Sending all my love,
Devon J Hall, The Loud Mouth Brown Girl ← This link will take you to my shop. All proceeds go towards supporting GoFundMe fundraisers, for folks from Gaza, Palestine, the last stronghold left in that corner of the world.
