It’s A *You* Problem Sir
Nothing You Can Say Will Change My Mind About Men
If you’re a man who felt like you *might* be a rapist, during the whole “Man vs Bear” conversation…I hate to break it to you, but you’re probably a creep and it’s your fault.
Twenty years ago I’d have said “Your mother’s didn’t raise you properly,” but it’s not the fault of the mothers. It’s the fault of the fathers who didn’t bother to teach their sons, that a way to a woman’s heart is by being gentle and kind.
First and foremost it’s about not expecting to get laid just because you’ve decided a woman should want you.
Smell, looks, and size don’t just turn women off, it’s behavior, personality, and a million other traits that go into making you who you are. Rarely is it about the man involved in the equation, not being “Good enough,” sometimes women — in particular — just aren’t interested in having a partner, and no amount of flattery is going to get you there.
Women are being choosy and picky now because we can be. We finally have the freedom to do as we please, when we please, where we please, with whom we please, how we please, and no one can tell us otherwise.
Meanwhile, the white racist conservative men of the world, are Hellbent on ensuring that our lives are as miserable as possible because they are idealizing a time when colored folk didn’t exist in public except on the farms, and women stayed at home while men got to have all the fun.
Too many men want the comforts of today, with the laws of yestercentury and I am — like many women around the world — fucking over it.
Now, I know I am going to get a bunch of idiot men and women telling me that “It’s not all men,” and “It’s not fair to lump all white people together.”
But this week alone I’ve heard stories about women who were:
- Murdered and chopped up before being placed in a motherfucking blender.
- Raped for over 10 years by a husband who let 90 men rape his wife, then claimed “He had mental health issues,” “He was molested as a child,” and my personal favorite, “She was sacrificed at the alter of vice.”
- He took her lips, and her teeth, for his scientific experiments, after raping her for four years and locking her up like an animal.
- He set her on fire after she won an Olympic medal and then died himself because he couldn’t “Live without her,” so he set himself on fire too.
That’s just four of the most horrible stories that have come across my desk this week, I can’t even get into some of them because they are too horrible to talk about and honestly I just feel numb to it all. I’m holding back because I don’t want to traumatize you.
But I can provide links to all of these stories and if you haven’t been living under a rock you’ve heard about them too.
Women are under attack in ways that we never have been before, all because our mother’s mothers stood up for us, for future generations of women who are tired of “Going quietly.”
Women everywhere have stood up and time and time again said “Me Too,’ and for just 1 moment the world was listening to us.
One woman I know of got 100 million dollars from her abuser, and everyone thinks that is the norm, but I assure you it’s not.
My case is still being investigated seven years after I came forward and made my claims of domestic, gang, and cult rape against Keith Rainier.
I’m still waiting for justice, and I assure you I won’t see a dime of reparations because none of my rapists have a dime to their name, except for the funds they stole from me.
Which if it isn’t gone is probably well hidden. My point is, that most abusers get completely away with abuse because the claims are so old, or because cops don’t want to investigate, or because there’s not enough evidence, or for a thousand other reasons.
I remember when I was sixteen I was kidnapped, the cops didn’t even care. They saw no reason to investigate why seven large Indian men would be driving around with a sixteen-year-old child because it happened so often they stopped investigating cases like that. Especially since “You weren’t sexually or physically harmed.” That’s only because I said no and fought back.
I remember being terrified, and I remember the cops not giving a shit, and still I trusted them with my story. It almost got me killed. A few times the men who abused me came after me.
I got lucky because I am just slightly smarter than the average victim, and because I learned from my past, about how to protect myself, but that doesn’t mean that there aren’t still men out there who would like to see me silent, forever.
Largely because they hate that they are forced to look in the mirror and remember what they did to a child. I spent decades under their thumb, being raped in the most horrible and horrific ways, a child being used as a sex doll.
Now they want to tell me that I should just “be quiet and get over it,” but there are 0 services that can help people who live with Complex PTSD because it’s such a new fucking phenomenon, that people don’t know how to handle it, and this includes care providers like mental health professionals.
I no longer speak out just because I want and need validation about my story. I do it so that people have a better, well rounded idea of what mental health looks like, and so they can find help that matches what I suggest, for those they love or for themselves — if that’s what folks need.
I try my best to say “These are the problems,” and “Here are the solutions,” but I think often times folks just think I’m ranting when the truth is I’m being genuinely honest about my experience on this planet.
Many people would love it if I never spoke about rape again, but for the rest of my life I am going to remember one of my sisters was chopped up and put into a fucking blender…by her God damned husband.
Jesus fucking Christ the fear she must have felt. On Hecate may the bastard burn.
Our sisters are being burned and murdered, and no one cares if they are Black, or fat, skinny or tall, white, or disabled, they are burning and murdering WOMEN.
So yes, it is all fucking men. Until every last woman on this planet stops being murdered and made missing by white men, by men, then yes my dears:
IT
IS
ALL
MEN
EVERYWHERE
Y’ALL
ARE
THE
WHOLE
FUCKING
PROBLEM
Sending all my love to the girls in danger right now,
Devon J Hall, The Loud Mouth Brown Girl
