Dear White People…I Don’t Actually Care if I Offend You

This girl was born from the body of a child who wanted to travel the world, study at the Vatican City, and spend her entire life devoting her time to God.

But see it didn’t quite matter how perfect or pious I was, it was never enough. Religious cults, gangsters, thugs, rapists, and pedophiles, 99% of whom were white, raped me for years, beat me, branded me, and made me scar my body, so I would never -really- forget, even though they tried to 100% legitimately tried to hypnotize me into forgetting.

If you want to help me, here are some things you do that don’t help, and some things you can do that will help.

Don’t Apologize. It’s Not Your Fault.

I am tired of white people — specifically — telling me that they are sorry for what happened to me. Of course, you are, what kind of backwater lunatic wouldn’t be sorry about what happened to me? That was some seriously evil shit. HOWEVER, you say you’re sorry and then “I” feel like “I” have to comfort you, and honestly? I don’t have the mental health ability to make you feel better about finding out what I went through.

Instead, Do The Work, So That What Happened To Me, Doesn’t Happen To Black Kids In Your Community

Fill the public schools with your children, move into marginalized neighborhoods and spend your dollars locally. Vote, raise your voice, raise your fist and make sure they hear you, refuse to let them stop hearing you, and help us get our messages out there. Vote for people who make you uncomfortable. Vote for people who make you feel uncomfortable by telling you that their first priorities include women, LGBTQ2S+, BIPOC, and youth.

Support local artists, if you’re buying online, see if there are stores in your area, or artists in your area, who could use your much spent money. You can find one-of-a-kind really cool items from local vendors in your area, by clicking the button that says “type your search here,” and typing in your city. It’s super easy.

Yes, We Demand Fair Pay — And No, You Can’t Stop Us

I understand that many of you are offended when Black folk says that we’re not going to educate you for free anymore. When we write books or make films and expect you to pay for them, this goes back a long way actually to the days of Metalica when they decided they didn’t want their music out there for free. I understood, so I never once streamed a Metallica song for free.

Hype House is this great show on Netflix about independent Content Creators who are making big moves in the internet world and making a lot of money doing it, but the one thing they don’t have is BIPOC Content Creators.

Indigenous Content Creators are few and far between, and while there are lots of Black content creators, there is only a handful of truly G.R.E.A.T Black Content Creators — and they aren’t all exceptionally famous, many of them haven’t even been discovered yet. Do you know why?

BECAUSE WE HAVE TO WORK TEN TIMES HARDER TO GET HALF AS MUCH ATTENTION YOU ASSHOLE.

And more than half the time? That attention ONLY comes up when we point out that the WHITE people getting ALL the attention, actually STOLE their content from us, BLACK content creators.

So no, I will not be “getting of the over it,” any time soon. I work 12 hours a day on my emotional health just so that I can function long enough to create the smallest amount of content, so I’m not saying that I personally deserve more attention than I am getting, but if you don’t think I see my Black and BIPOC friends suffering in this baby booming industry, you are sadly mistaken.

White People…We Are Not Going To Murder You In The Middle of The Night, But if You Could Stop Killing Us And Getting Away With It, That’d Be Amazing!

My neighbor once called the cops on me because I was sitting on my balcony having a smoke, it’s the single most reason that I’m now afraid to go out on my balcony at all, so fuck you very much, Brenda!

Every single day, EVERY single day, there is a new attack on a Black person somewhere in the world, and almost always it’s by a white cop, and very rarely do those cops face real punishment for their crimes.

White people at large will rarely have to worry about what happens if their drunk, white teenager gets pulled over by the cops. White people will very rarely have to worry about their daughters being murdered BY THE THOUSANDS, around the world, because their daughters are more often than Black or BIPOC folk, protected.

White people do not have Black folk problems. A white girl on Tik Tok no matter how talented can’t tell me how to do my hair, or help me with my emotional problems, or understand what it feels like to be hated because of the color of my skin.

NO, WE DO NOT HATE YOU BECAUSE YOU ARE WHITE.

Look, it’s not BECAUSE you are white that we don’t trust you, or BECAUSE you are white that we are afraid of you. It’s because your WHITENESS is a trigger because we never know how you’re going to react.

When it comes to white people one moment everything is fine and the next minute Brenda is screaming at the top of her lungs.

“POLICE, POH POH POH THA COLORE GIRL SITTIN THERE ON HER BALCONY, BEST GO ARREST HER RIGHT NOW.” I mean I imagine that’s how Brenda sounded when she called 911 because they sure as fuck did come running.

I will say that Brenda and I were friendly for years, years. We went to the cafe together every week to listen to music and eat cheesecake, I don’t know when she became a right-wing lunatic, but I do know she’s a danger to society.

Black Men &Women Die In Puddles of White Tears

All a white woman has to do is scream. That’s it, and before you know it a life is over, we’ve learned that lesson ten thousand times over the last four hundred years.

North America is stained with the blood of those that didn’t fit the mold this earth demands you fit for survival. All of us have bled on this planet, trying to create a better world for our Black, BIPOC, and LGBTQ2S+ children, and WHITE people, who look JUST LIKE YOU NICE WHITE PEOPLE, use that whiteness, to destroy our lives.

If you can’t see why that might terrify the fuck out of Black and BIPOC people, if you genuinely can sit there and tell me that you don’t understand the super powers that come with whiteness, I’m gonna know you’re a secret agent sent here to piss me off and I’m going to call bullshit.

I don’t give a FUCK what you think about my writing. I don’t give a FUCK about what you say because when “I” was a child NOT A SINGLE ONE OF YOU PROTECTED ME, and in TOO many cases, LET me get abused because it was easier than stopping the damage before things got too bad.

So here I am now with 39 years of trauma and PTSD that comes from white people, trying my damndest to remind ALL My Black sistas that they deserve better and you want me to feel sorry because you’re feelings are hurt that I told you a truth you didn’t like?

Heh.

No.

Devon J Hall

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I Am The Loud Mouth Brown Girl, from Surrey BC. Author, Author & Artist, Dancer, Singer, Cannabis Educator, and Advocate. I am All this and more.

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Devon J Hall

Devon J Hall

I Am The Loud Mouth Brown Girl, from Surrey BC. Author, Author & Artist, Dancer, Singer, Cannabis Educator, and Advocate. I am All this and more.

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